I’m sure many of you must have gone through breakups during these challenging times. This pandemic has brought with it so many surprises or shall I call them shocks? The latter probably seems right, doesn’t it? Why do you think that breakups have increased during the quarantine? There are probably a series of factors and instances that led to this heartbreaking loss, which has given way to a lot of negative as well as positive effects too.
Major causes of quarantine breakups to which you all can relate to are misunderstandings, trust issues, insecurities, lockdown frustrations, ego problems, the difference in opinions and views, etc. The most important cause for breakups to occur in lockdown is basically, lack of proper communication.
Couples, during quarantine, have had communication issues, frustrations of being locked up in their homes and thus, not being able to see each other and spend time with each other. Also, this whole quarantine situation has led to a lot of stress among people. Hearing or reading about the situation daily freaks them out and they keep thinking about whether the situation will become better or worse.
I agree that there are social networking sites for chatting with your partner, phones to call them, but this is just the virtual presence. You start missing the physical presence of your partner. All these restrictions irritate you after a while and you engage in fights. Small fights daily lead to bigger problems which also lead to no communication. You feel that your partner does not understand you or your points. The mistake you make is that you stop talking to him/her. Maybe a simple text can heal everything! Why make it so complicated?
The saddest part is that you broke up with a person you spent time with, had fun, and loved talking to, without his/her physical presence. The physical presence during these situations matters a lot. You probably ended it all on a video call or phone call or maybe just through texts. Maybe you hoped to see that person one last time or at least wanted to end it by meeting him/her in person. Maybe you would have thought that if you met the person, the issues could be resolved, right?
You start experiencing sadness, anxiety and if these feelings are prolonged, then maybe depression too. You suddenly start feeling lonely. You feel like the whole world is over and there’s nothing left to live for. Your focus on your studies starts reducing. Your grades tend to decline. You start losing interest in everything, especially your goals and your career, which is not a good sign at all.
I’m sure most of you must be thinking that this is the worst time of your life and times are so uncertain. Everything seems so unorganized and tough, right? So, I wanted to stop and give you guys some encouragement that could possibly help you deal with quarantine issues, especially breakups.
So, if you’re going through a breakup during quarantine, it’s actually beneficial for you and it’s actually a great time to be going through a breakup. I know this sounds crazy but let me explain it to you. The fact is that right now we are in isolation and by ourselves. This gives both you and your ex more time to think whether or not you or they made the right decision.
Here’s a video How to Stay Motivated During COVID-19 Lockdown
There’s always a time in a relationship when it’s ended, the person who ended the relationship needs time to think about it and ask him/herself, “Did I make the right decision?” Now, since you do not have much to do but reflect, that time is going to come sooner. There’s going to be enough time and no distractions that you have during a normal breakup than a quarantined one.
When there won’t be any distractions, your ex will be more prone to reach out for comfort. And that comfort is you! So, in a way you are lucky that you’re going through this now. Everything happens for a reason. This could be the time when you realize that what you need to work on- your career.
Here’s a video on Jobs in demand during COVID-19
Why does a breakup hurt us so much?
This is because we give that person a precious place in our hearts. We develop a feeling of attachment with him/her. We feel like we are in love, but this is not always true. We have different definitions of love. We all manipulate those definitions according to our own needs and desires. The worst thing that makes us feel shattered is our own expectations.
You must have heard or read somewhere, “expectations kill”. It’s not just a saying. It is the truth, a fact. When we are in love, we automatically start expecting things from our partner. It’s natural. It happens. Do you expect your partner to take care of you, to understand you and your viewpoints, to support you, to be loyal and honest with you, to never leave you alone, and above all to love you? I’m sure most of you all will respond in positive.
What really matters?
I understand that you must be really attached to your ex, but you must focus on your career too. Career is not something you can compromise with, right? So, you should start focusing on the things that will be helpful for your future. Start working on yourself, your goals, and your career that will ultimately lead to a better and probably happy future. Keep yourself engaged in something that makes you happy and worth living for. When you start focusing on your strengths and weaknesses, it will ultimately lead you to a bright future.
Spend more time with the people who really matter to you, who care about you, who love you like your family members, your close friends, etc. Talk to someone who listens to you and understands your situation and is willing to help you. Sometimes, all you need is a good listener.
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck!