Do you ever ask yourself why can’t I have a life like others? Today’s article is basically a motivational story that I’m about to share with all the readers.
But the question? Isn’t it so known? Doesn’t it feel so relatable? Isn’t it because you too ask the same question to yourself? And isn’t it such a question which never has an answer? Or not matter how much you google up, but after reading the practical and harsh truths, it breaks your heart a bit more from inside.
So as a result, this time I thought about sharing my own story other than writing up about those same practical points in order to motivate you. I know it very well that reading some articles won’t change this question that you ask yourself – Why me?
Instead, I’ll share why I stopped asking myself the same question that you ask yourself now. I’m not writing this article to get sympathy but to give an appropriate answer to your question.
Here is it.
Three years back, i found someone very special for me. After some months I found back all my school friends with whom I had lost connections with. Life was exactly how I wanted it to be. Life was perfect like it’s shown in the movies. I guess you can already imagine how happy I was. I mean who doesn’t want a simple life with some loving family, friends, a great partner and some life goals to achieve. Sounds good right?
Even the group parties, the casual hangouts, the cute fights, the resolution of serious issues, the puja get-togethers (well that’s a Bengali thing), deep and midnight conversations, butterflies in the stomach, and whatnot. Like almost everything had I experienced with that special person and my old friends.
But Guess what? No no, I’m not going to say that they only happen in movies. They do happen in real life too because I’ve had experienced such a life. But the problem was that I started noticing a few things.
I slowly realised that my friends only considered me by the entity of that special person and never actually cared about me. Even my absence never mattered. I was only invited when that special person used to be with me. It was like that the special person was invited a lot more than me by the same friends than me.
Soon I realised that my own old friends were never my friends. Suddenly I realised that even the person whom I consider as special, never actually cared about my absence.
I still cannot explain how it felt but something shattered me from inside. I don’t know how the butterflies in my stomach suddenly turned into a nauseatic feeling. But I could understand that I was in depression, I could barely express myself in front of them. I started ending up with having severe and serious fights, even creating scenes in public and slowly lost control of myself.
I was started getting compared to other girls by my so-called special person, was proven desperate and was proven as a quarrelsome. I was proven as the culprit behind ruining the mental peace of those who actually ruined mine. But suddenly I realised the most dreadful truth – it was that I actually changed myself entirely just to hold on to these people and prove myself right in front of their eyes.
Though it took me a lot more pain and bullying to realise that I don’t fit into such a place. I won’t share what those pains were but what I want to share is that finally I left that place.
Though I left the place after realising that I deserve better but somehow I couldn’t focus on anything better. I wanted to go back, but not as how they used to treat me, but as how I deserve to be treated. And that’s when I started asking myself the same questions as you do now.
It was last year when I realised something again. I saw that almost all the bonds were broken in that group – be it friendship, or be it a relationship. They always had a backup plan though. But what I realised was that till that day I used to think that maybe the problem was with me, maybe I couldn’t fit into their group. But now I realised that it wasn’t me. It was them who could never value any bond. That was the day when I stopped asking myself such questions.
It may not make any sense to you but remember one thing – a toxic person can never value any bond. You may think that they are lucky because they always have a backup plan to move on. But trust me, they are the most unlucky people in the entire world because they couldn’t experience something real, something precious. They only got their mirror persons as their backup.
That’s when I stopped asking myself why can’t I have a life like others because today I know the answer – A golden egg is always different from a few ordinary white eggs. Initially, it may get trolled for being different, but in the end, the valuer knows whom to value the most.
Just the same way, you will get valued where you belong, someone who doesnt deserve you can never understand your worth.
So the actual fact is that the question shouldn’t be why can’t I have a life like others, instead the statement should be – I don’t need a life like others because I know my worth.